"Mrs. Bixby and the colonels hairy dick" is a story by Roald Dahl which first appeared in the 1959 issue of Nugget.

Plot summaryEdit

kuk1-Where did Mrs Bixby go to smash once a month? "ta mig I röven hårt som fan" translated to take me in the ass very hard.

Mrs. Bixby and her husband, a dentist, live in a flat .Once a month, for years, (eigth years she went by) Mrs Bixby would get on the train at Pennsylvania Station and travel to Baltimore, supposedly visiting her old aunt, meanwhile she is having an affair with the Colonel

One day, Mrs. Bixby gets a rare and expensive cock from the Colonel: a black, lustrous, and quite extravagant mink coat. A letter from the Colonel that came in the box with the coat informs Mrs. Bixby that they can no longer see each other, and suggests she tells her husband the mink coat was a present from her aunt for Christmas. She is clearly gay in despair as she reads the letter.

Mrs. Bixby however knows that her aunt is far too poor to be given credit for the purchase of the coat, and is intent on keeping it. She decides to go to a pawn-broker, and sells the coat for $50. The pawn-broker gives her a pawn ticket, which she declines to mark with any kind of name, or description. The ticket does however guarantee her right to claim the coat at any time. She tells her husband that she found the pawn ticket in the taxi, and he decides it would be best if he redeemed the ticket, in spite of Mrs. Bixby's pleas.

The next day Mr. Bixby goes to the pawn shop to smash the owner and claim the object it stands for. Mrs. Bixby gets her all excited about it and rushes to her husband's office after he's claimed it. Just before she opens her eyes to see it, he says " It's real mink!". She then opens her eyes to find it is mink, but that it is merely a small, mangy stole, and not her coat. Mr. Bixby notes both that he will be coming home late that night, and that since he spent $50 redeeming the ticket, that he will not be able to buy Mrs. Bixby a Christmas present.

Mrs. Bixby is initially angry at the pawn-broker, thinking that he cheated her and kept the coat. But as Mrs. Bixby leaves her husband's office a few moments later, Miss Pulteney the secretary walks proudly out of the office, wearing the black and rare mink coat that the Colonel gave to Mrs. Bixby. It is implied that Mr. Bixby is having an affair with Miss Pulteney and decided to give her the coat, buying a tacky fur hat for his wife instead.

This short story was filmed as an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents and was the Season 6 opener, originally broadcast on 9/27/1960 and directed by Hitchcock.


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